Funny Gambling One Liners
Laughter is good for you. The following is our hand picked collection of 50 of the funniest one line quotes that is sure to leave you in splits. These quotes are not only funny, they are also pretty clever. So enjoy!
If you’ve enjoyed these funny one liners on life, you’ll also enjoy these 33 Really Funny Quotes And Sayings On Life. 7 Flirty One Liners For Tinder. I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection. My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in. Best One Liners The Best 1 Line Jokes of All-Time. Our list of the best one line jokes of all time are curated by the bunch of comedians that make up the ADDucation team. However you can have your say by sharing your best one liners in the comments below. Make us laugh and we’ll add your best 1 liner to the main ADDucation one line jokes list.
“If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!” ― anonymous
“Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” ― Colleen Hoover
“A politician is someone who promises a bridge even when there’s no water” ― Gregory David Roberts
“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
“The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun” – Stephen Colbert
“Surely after a milkshake has been shaken, shouldn’t it be called a milkshook?” ― Leo M
“Those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
“The important thing to remember is not to forget” ― Benny Bellamacina
“If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?” ― Jerry Seinfeld
“Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.” ― Marian Keyes
“If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” ― George Carlin
“No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it” ― Fernando Pessoa
“Money can’t buy love, except on Valentine’s Day.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo
“I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.” ― Karl Pilkington
“Vegetables – what food eats before it becomes food.” ― David Weber
“When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with crayons.” ― Hank Moody
“If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?” ― Regina Griffin
“Water is the most essential element in life, because without it you can’t make coffee.” ― Karen Salmansohn
“Although life and I are not always in love with each other, we do remain on close speaking terms.” ― Brian Randleas Harmony
“Beauty lies in the LIES of the beholder!” ― Ashok Kallarakkal
“If you worry about missing the boat, remember the Titanic!” ― Sid Bolon
“I consider myself to be pretty normal, in an insane kind of way…” ― Gerri R. Gray
“Happiness is waking up, looking at the clock and finding that you still have two hours left to sleep.” ― Charles M. Schultz
“If the pen is mightier than the sword, a sharpie must be plain deadly!” ― Tom Althouse
“The early bird catches the worm, but what about the early worm?” – Anonymous
“The literal meaning of life is whatever you’re doing that prevents you from killing yourself.” ― Albert Camus
“He who laughs last … just didn’t get the joke.” ― Carroll Bryant
“All I have is me, myself and I and we are all getting really tired of each other.” ― Carl White
“Generally speaking, I try not to generalize.” ― Addison C. Arthur
“Holidays were invented so single women could overeat without feeling guilty.” ― Elizabeth Jane Howard
Funny Gambling One Liners Free
“A signature always reveals a man’s character, and sometimes even his name.” ― Evan Esar
“I’m not Weird I’m Limited Edition!” ― Aliaha Brown
“My favorite quote in the world is this one.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich
“Salad isn’t food. Salad is what food eats.” ― Sariah Wilson
“If you drink anymore, you’re going to be positively flammable.” ― Michaela Haze
“I just looked at the calendar and realized – my days are numbered” ― Johnny Moscato
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.” ― James Denton
“An apple a way keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough” – Stephen Colbert
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” ― Robert Brault
“The na at the end of banana annoys me as much as it would you if it were bananana.” ― Lance Manion
“Chicken salad with egg in it is very interesting way to eat two generations.” ― Fuad Alakbarov
“Do flat-earthers believe that other planets are also flat?” ― Oliver Markus Malloy
“Life before toilet paper was not worth living.” ― Sherrilyn Kenyon
“An atheist is a person who has nobody to blame when he screws up.” ― Fakeer Ishavardas
Funny Gambling One Liners Near Me
“Whenever you fall, always pick something up.” ― Avery
Funny Gambling One Liners For Men
“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.” ― George Carlin
“I went to buy a candle holder but the store did not have one, so I brought a cake.” – Mitch Hedberg
“This jacket is dry clean only, which means it’s dirty.” – Mitch Hedberg
“I could be a morning person — but only if morning started at noon!” ― Carol Storm
“Don’t waste water on washing your shirt, use photoshop!” ― EverSkeptic
“I remixed a remix and it became normal again.” – Mitch Hedberg
If you are reading this, you definitely seem to have enjoyed these quotes. Do let us know which one was your most favorite quote that made you laugh out loud.